Joy!!!...Really?

2011-12-12T08:31:00.000-08:00

So here's the scene. The exiled Jews had learned to live under Babylonian rule quite well, after all they were not treated too bad. They were allowed to worship, have their own homes, maintain their social and religious leadership and they had gained a certain amount of commodity so much so that they had actually forgotten that they were under political domination. Now no doubt that the group that Isaiah was actually speaking to where primarily part of a new generation who never even experienced the conquering troops of Nebuchadnezzar's great army roll in and destroy the temple and carry all its riches. So they would not have known or understood the importance of going back, and frankly who would have blamed them. Who wants to go back to ruins.
I can imagine Isaiah leading the field trip back to Jerusalem, with his "spirit of the Lord has anointed me to bring good news...." spiel about all the things that God had promised to do through them. Oh and he says that their mourning will turn to gladness. Seriously? How can they possibly believe this when they are standing in a pile of ruins?!
I hate it when God's word gets in my head and begins to read my thoughts! Over the last several months, I feel that I have been sitting in a pile of ruins. This church building is killing me, its killing my momentum and my drive to be a better church planter. The new start has been co-opted to a certain extent because instead of following the original vision, it is now swallowed up in the huge building expenses and worries. This is actually so depressing and fills me with anger, that I know it is starting to become apparent in everything I do and that's not cool at all. By now I think you have realized that this story doesn't have much Advent or Christmas joy in it. Or does it?
Look at the Isaiah passage again....God says that they would be called priest and their shame though it is double and sorrow the only legacy that they hold on to, those will be turned into a double portion of everlasting joy. All of this happens in the midst of the rubble, in the midst of the chaos and in the time of desolation. This is not new to God, creation took place in the midst of void and chaos, so why is it that we, or rather I don't seem to remember that.
Someone really wise and close to me shared with me that at this point in her life she felt as though she was at the doorstep of a wilderness and she is upset with God because she doesn't want to go through it but she knows she has to. I keep shaking my fist up to God in the same way! I keep asking God, why was I selected to go through this hell. On top of that every time I attend another church planting seminar or workshop or meeting, and I hear about all the success that others are having, I keep waiting for that one place where they gather all the ones who have not been so successful and we hear from them.
If God works through chaos and rebuilds through ruins, can God work through failed church plants, or any other ministry attempts? I have another friend who has a great saying "you have your answer, dear!" God says,"YES!"
I know that, but right now I'm in a pile of ruins waiting....
Here lies the truth about joy that I am learning. Joy is knowing that it is coming. Joy is knowing that you can carry all your burdens to God. Joy is knowing that God loves you so much that God wades and pushes through your own pile of emotional.....rubbish (I want to use another word but I will refrain!) in order to hear you out better than any friend or partner you can have. Joy is knowing that wherever God leads you through success and happiness, failure and frustration, God will not let go of you (thanks Mark Miller). As I go through this journey, I am fully aware that the choice of following God never, never came with a guarantee that I will be joyful all the time! It only came with the guarantee that God will never leave me or forsake me.
So am I angry? Yes! Am I frustrated. Hell Yes! A little lost? Yes! But you'll never guess who I find sitting here next to me in this pile of rubble.

Wishing all of you Advent Hope and Christmas Joy!
Lydia

Emotional Waste

2011-10-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed in my life, as I am sure that you have as well, with some people that have always served to sharpen the iron of my soul and place my feet to the fire when needed. On one particular occasion I was speaking to one such friend who used the term "emotional waste." I was intrigued. My friend explained further by sharing that many times we spend a lot of time and energy investing our emotions into things that are not up to us to control. We pour our hearts and souls into something or someone and when it doesn't turn out quite as well as we want or we end up being disillusioned, we truly think everything must end now because we have indeed invested so much of ourselves into it.

In the long run, the truth is as my good friend says "just let it be what it be!" No amount of anger, no amount of crying, no amount of being upset with the world will change what it is so stop wasting so much emotional energy.
Listen, we've all been there, particularly those of us who are church planters. We may have the best visions, the best ideas, the best plans but in the long run it is what it will be and you have two choices. You can decide to remain heated about it and with everyone and carry that to your next assignment or get rid of the waste and realize that you are called not to invest in your vision, but in God's Reign. This isn't your ministry, it happens to belong to someone else and I think that its the same being who handled creation, so I think God's got this! Perhaps this is why the Word says "weeping may endure for a night" because that's as far as God wants you to take it. Don't let your emotional waste take over, but learn to enjoy the sunrise of a new day.
People will try to place value on you based on what you do and how successful you are at doing it. Yet the one who made you knows how valuable you already are, so why would you invest your emotions anywhere else.
My prayer is that God will give me a discerning heart to know when I am teetering on investing my emotions into something that will become an exhausting enterprise and will just leave me emotionally spent. To many of us walk around with bankrupt hearts and empty souls. James 4:7 says, "resist the devil and he will flee from you" and I believe that brother James was also talking about the devil in you and me. You know the one that believes that without you this work can't get done! Yea you know you've seen that demon rear its ugly head from time to time. Believe it or not people are much more perceptive than we give them credit and in fact the Church of Jesus Christ will go on et in saecula saeculorum! I have come to realize this in my own setting.

So, every now and then its good to take out the trash, dust off the shelves and clear the air. Remember, not to throw any of it in the recycle bin. These things always find a way of creeping back in.

Happy cleaning,

Lydia

Plant This!

Joy!!!...Really?

Emotional Waste