Recently, at a very intentional gathering of colleagues committed to the work of ministry in urban settings a discussion developed around the subject of the Reign of God. Sounds foreboding, doesn't it? I mean, who do we think we are to attempt to define what the Reign of God actually is or where it is for that matter! My colleagues and I went round and round with the discussion with questions like: what does the reign of God have to say to us about the city? what is the city saying about the reign of God? Where do we find the reign of God? Is it in the local church, or is it beyond the local church? Or is it a combination of both of these locations?
True to form, my colleagues have always challenged me to clarify my statements, and to be concise in my articulation of my theology. This was no different. How I define the Reign of God and where I find it will speak volumes to the kind of minister that I am and will be. So, I left the discussion, after numerous parking lot conversations, with questions to be explored. I particularly thought of the thine line between the local church as we have come to identify it, and the community of believers that gathers to celebrate and act out their faith that we also know as the Church. In which one is the reign of God most visible? Is it possible that there are times that the Reign of God is clearly seen in both of these locations and in neither? Is this a case of mistaken identity?
Remember how Jesus said, "what would you compare the Kingdom of Heaven to, its like a mustard seed that grows into the largest garden plant"(Mark 4) I'm sure there were people in the crowd listening to Jesus who thought, "dude, stick to carpentry work because you are way out of your element." Well, either Jesus was way out of his element or there was a wild point that Jesus was about to make! I say wild because that's exactly what a mustard seed does. It grows crazy wild! In fact, nobody would plant a mustard seed plant in their garden, they would do so outside of their garden because it has the ability to take over and grow all over the place. My professor of Biblical Interpretation at Wesley Seminary, Sharon Ringe shared it with us this way. "Any farmer in Jesus' audience who puzzled at the deceptive simplicity of the first parable would be left shaking her head at the second (4:30-32). The basileia of God and mustard weeds simply don't belong in the same sentence! Mustard is indeed an herb with medicinal properties and one that is useful for flavoring and preserving food. The mustard bush, though, is a garden pest. No one would sow it on purpose. It grows all too readily on its own, and once it appears, it takes over the field. The small size of the mustard seed may be proverbial (Matt. 17:20; Luke 17:6), but it is not the smallest seed, nor is the mustard bush the largest of all shrubs. Exaggeration follows absurdity. What is "sorta like" God's reign in this story, and how could it be good news for Mark's church and for us?"
So, is it absurdity that Jesus is going for here? Is there something about the identity of the Kingdom that we are missing all together? If the basileia is the mustard bush and the ill-fitted conception of what it meant to be the people of God in Jesus day the pristine and well kept field, then what does that say about our definition of the Reign of God? Are we more identified with the wild-no walls- no barriers-non-containment Reign of God that burst in and invades a place or when we say Church or local church do we immediately go to that well kept field where all the right crops are together, each in their own place and in their own part of the field? If even the exaggeration of how tall the mustard bush can grow might be a part of Jesus' strategy, then can that be Mark's way of giving us a clue as to the kind of reign we are talking about here?
I know, I know! This isn't the only "the kingdom of heaven is like" passage. There are a number of them in the synoptic Gospels, but doing a quick word reference on them, I found out that most of them are comparing the reign of God to small, insignificant and even absurd things. Perhaps, just perhaps, we are too accustomed to having the answer of what the Reign of God is too nicely and neatly wrapped up. Maybe the Reign of God has always been moving in the world and at times, we as the church, have moved within it and become catalyst to point people in the right direction so they can experience and enter the reign of God. Then at other times, we are far removed from where the reign of God finds itself because we are too concerned about preserving the field and keeping everything in its proper place and order.
One of my colleagues pointed out to me that every time the community of faith gathers whether to worship or to work or for both, it is the Reign of God because the world can see clearly what the reign of God looks like. I agree, especially when we do so with the integrity of being truly inclusive and welcoming. However, one of the problems I see in the Christian Church today is precisely the thinking that we are the actual reign of God and everything else takes their cues from us. Can it be that the Reign of God is larger than us, seriously?
So I ask you, how do we think about the Reign of God? Where do we draw the line? And do have the Reign of God in our terms or in God's terms? Are we not okay with the wild and absurd mess that Jesus in the Gospels is alluding to, or do we try to clean up the act? I would seriously like some conversation about this. A very wise person in my life who actually inspired me when I was 20 years old to start thinking theologically said this to me once. "You show me your missiology and I will show you your Christology." I've been hard pressed to do both for over 20 years now. Thanks a lot Dr. Cotto!!!!:)
Keep the conversation going...what are your thoughts?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Make me Clean! A Call to Restructure
I've heard many colleagues resist the use of the lectionary readings when it comes to preaching. They prefer to use topical or thematic preaching series, which works really well. Honestly, I admire the ability of my colleagues to begin a series for several weeks and really work on fleshing a topic out with their congregation. I guess I am one of those who actually finds joy in looking at the lectionary. I am, however the first to admit that some weeks the choices of Scripture readings seem to be put together by a group of capuchin monkeys jumping around on a huge liturgical map, but none the less even out of chaos, God seems to bring it all home again.
Mark is the chosen Gospel for this year and I've always appreciated Mark's "get er' done" attitude and the urgency with which he seemed to write. But this year, I have been blessed to be in a group of crazy clergy who gather every week to explore the lectionary readings as a homiletic exercise. We leave no stone unturned and we discuss every possible scenario or interpretation that there could be and we give each other feed back on where possibilities of sermons could crop up. Its actually very enriching and most of all its a great way to build fellowship and friendship. Included in this group, is an outstanding New Testament scholar from Union Seminary that we are incredibly fortunate to have. To put it in very urban terms, the guy is a theological beast! Sitting and listening to him is a real treat. He's been pushing us to see a general theme in Mark of loss and pain, and the ability to think that Mark is actually correcting a not so completely actualized Jesus, who doesn't really get he's the Messiah but only has glimpses and moments of real clarity.
Its fascinating to think that the same human developmental process that all of us go through, is the very one that Jesus, the Son of God could have gone through as well. I thought, "I will never share this with my young congregation." But much to my surprise, my congregation actually initiated the conversation last week. One person said, "well, its probably true to say that Jesus might have had an idea of something special and in conversation with his mother and hearing the stories of his birth, he knew that he was special and selected for something, but for what that might not have been too clear." Another person shared, "I've always been taught that Jesus knew everything that would be happening from the very beginning, he always knew that he was the Messiah, but what if he didn't would that make him any less divine?" Actually we concluded that there was great comfort in knowing that Jesus might not have known the complete picture and that this epiphany was unfolding before his very eyes, very much like our call to follow this same Jesus. We are all on the same journey! I love it when un-churched and nominally churched folks do theology because they do it so much better than any of us long time members.
This week's pericope (that's just a fancy way of saying a particular section or episode of the gospel reading) is about the leper who puts Jesus on the spot, or at least in Mark's retelling he does. According to tradition, a leper colony would be outside of the town because they were socially marginalized and spiritually demonized. Truly, skin issues was a big deal in Jesus day as it was during the early days of the Hebrew people. So the first question is, what was this leper doing coming up to Jesus and/or was Jesus walking close to the leper colony? Weird encounters, Mark is full of them.
Its not really clear whether Jesus is pissed off at this guy for coming at him or if he just doesn't want people spreading rumors about him when he doesn't really know what is going on, but he "warns him sternly" and tells him not to say anything and instead instructs him to go and show himself to the priest as the law states to do. This is where it gets good. Mark writes that the healed guy does the complete opposite! He starts telling everyone, never goes to see the priest and Jesus is accosted by all the would be paparazzi of his day!
Jesus must have been so upset with this guy. I could just imagine him saying, 'dude, didn't I tell you to keep this on the DL?! I can't even go to the corner Wawa without people asking me questions. Thanks a lot!" But I actually think this is part of Mark's overall plan to juxtapose Jesus, God's ultimate priestly answer, against the priestly rituals of the law of Moses. Doing the opposite, the healed and grateful leper recognizes that through Jesus there is no need to be imprisoned by the very rules and laws that kept him apart from the community in the first place. In fact, he can show himself to the community even without an "official" certification of healing from the local priest in Jerusalem. Maybe this is not what Jesus intended, maybe he never intended on going against everything he knew growing up, but more and more in the Gospel of Mark, we come to see the evolution of a call and Jesus finally embracing that his "good news" wasn't good for everyone and so they killed him for it.
Which brings me to an interesting place in this journey. I ask myself, what do I really mean when I ask God to make me clean? What are God's thoughts on the petition and am I fully aware of what I am asking? I don't think I am. In reading St. John of the Cross, he says that God really does do the best work on us, when we are in the dark. The dark of not knowing, the dark of not being in control. If we were to see what kind of work God was doing, we would probably ask God to stop. Is that what we are doing in this so called Call to Action of the Church?
I mean do we really want to change? Do we really want to make first things first? If that is case, then in our restructuring, can somebody please tell me why we have not looked seriously at the role of the Episcopacy in the overall call for new places for new people. In most corporations, when a CEO's that have not displayed leadership to turn around failing companies that have been bailed out, they have been terminated. Now we keep saying Bishops are not CEO's, however they are responsible to oversee the disciple-making- for the transformation of the world-institution that we call the United Methodist Church. And yet we continue to elect more Bishops, even though we do not have the resources to support them, and we continue to allow them to take on more and more authority and power within their office without a resource to hold them accountable to produce vibrant conferences and congregations. Within the conversation of guaranteed appointment for anxious clergy all across the nation, this topic has not even been mentioned as a possibility of removing the "vitam" till-you-die election of a Bishop as part of the discussion.
When we call people to give 101% or above and beyond their apportionment responsibilities because we have ministry to do, are we being faithful in explaining that part of this giving is also to maintain a structure that is so far removed from reality that it has become the albatross in the room and an episcopal structure that is far removed from the Pauline description of the vocation. As I participate in conversations across the country about what are effective ways to create new communities of faith, it appears to me that these are the things that for new people, don't make sense. I find myself having to explain our structure over and over again, and the more I do that, the more I realize that we truly do need to be made clean. I just don't know if we know what are actually asking for. So, how do you keep new people from questioning this? I find the task really difficult and maybe that's the point. Maybe I should stop trying to "save people" from the truth and allow them to actually be the ones saving us!
Just in case you're thinking, "wow, who made her so jaded!" I'm not. I am so happy to report that I passed my BOOM interviews and I'm on my way to being commissioned as a provisional Elder. But I also think that part of my responsibility of being part of the Order of Elders is to create conversation and question certain things that are off balance. I would not expect anything less than any of my colleagues.
I love my church and I stand by it, which means that I am also willing to stand in it. Step right in the center of all the dysfunction and say "well, then my peeps, where did we go wrong?" The moment that we become too afraid or too comfortable to question our own structure then, that is the moment that I know that I truly have lost all sense of purpose and we are truly irrelevant and dead.
Now back to relevance for me in particular. I'll share a quick true story. I found myself the other day at Trader Joe's Market getting a few items. I happen to be getting ready to check out and I chose to stand at the line of a young lady who reminded me so much of the star of "The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo" the new movie, not the old one. Now here's an insight on me, I love tatoo's. I think they are really cool and her's were particularly ornate. So as she is checking my items, we are engaged in conversation about her tatoo's and how she got started and where should I start if I wanted to get one. (That's a whole other blog entry :-)
Then we started talking about music and before I knew it we were exchanging tunes and names. This is what new church start people do, and for me its really about seeking those who normally would not be approached by "good church folks." At any rate, as we were talking I took a quick glance at the lady behind me in the line. Her face said it all. She was disgusted by our conversation and by this young lady's appearance. She then proceeded to say that if we should think twice about tatoo's because they don't always look so good, and if we ever wanted to wear a wedding dress, we would look terrible!
The young lady and I looked at each other and said without any hesitation, "well, what if we don't want to wear a wedding dress, and what if the person we do marry, accepts us just the way we are?"
It spoke volumes to me and really made this scripture come to life. Who calls us clean? Who determines if we have reached the right to be part of the community? Who measures our effectiveness and who gets to set the criteria? "If you want to, you can make me clean." This is what the leper said. And when Jesus does the miracle, he knows that this is all the approval he needs to reintegrate back into community. In essence, the community took on the priestly role of seeing the evidence of his healing, hearing his testimony and believing it to the point that Jesus' fame grew all over the region.
Perhaps its time that we return to the locus of the community to be the ones who set restructuring from a grass roots theological frame work. This is what I believe Mark does throughout his Gospel. The community of broken, hemorrhaging, poor, hungry, small and insignificant are the ones who call Jesus out and give him a clear picture of who he is - the Messiah the Son of God!
We can only find our sense of purpose among those we truly serve. Parting from any other place would be the very definition of insanity! By the way, in Mark, Jesus becomes an expert at throwing out demons from the synagogues too. Hmmm, I wonder what lesson would he be trying to show us there??????
For your prayerful consideration
Mark is the chosen Gospel for this year and I've always appreciated Mark's "get er' done" attitude and the urgency with which he seemed to write. But this year, I have been blessed to be in a group of crazy clergy who gather every week to explore the lectionary readings as a homiletic exercise. We leave no stone unturned and we discuss every possible scenario or interpretation that there could be and we give each other feed back on where possibilities of sermons could crop up. Its actually very enriching and most of all its a great way to build fellowship and friendship. Included in this group, is an outstanding New Testament scholar from Union Seminary that we are incredibly fortunate to have. To put it in very urban terms, the guy is a theological beast! Sitting and listening to him is a real treat. He's been pushing us to see a general theme in Mark of loss and pain, and the ability to think that Mark is actually correcting a not so completely actualized Jesus, who doesn't really get he's the Messiah but only has glimpses and moments of real clarity.
Its fascinating to think that the same human developmental process that all of us go through, is the very one that Jesus, the Son of God could have gone through as well. I thought, "I will never share this with my young congregation." But much to my surprise, my congregation actually initiated the conversation last week. One person said, "well, its probably true to say that Jesus might have had an idea of something special and in conversation with his mother and hearing the stories of his birth, he knew that he was special and selected for something, but for what that might not have been too clear." Another person shared, "I've always been taught that Jesus knew everything that would be happening from the very beginning, he always knew that he was the Messiah, but what if he didn't would that make him any less divine?" Actually we concluded that there was great comfort in knowing that Jesus might not have known the complete picture and that this epiphany was unfolding before his very eyes, very much like our call to follow this same Jesus. We are all on the same journey! I love it when un-churched and nominally churched folks do theology because they do it so much better than any of us long time members.
This week's pericope (that's just a fancy way of saying a particular section or episode of the gospel reading) is about the leper who puts Jesus on the spot, or at least in Mark's retelling he does. According to tradition, a leper colony would be outside of the town because they were socially marginalized and spiritually demonized. Truly, skin issues was a big deal in Jesus day as it was during the early days of the Hebrew people. So the first question is, what was this leper doing coming up to Jesus and/or was Jesus walking close to the leper colony? Weird encounters, Mark is full of them.
Its not really clear whether Jesus is pissed off at this guy for coming at him or if he just doesn't want people spreading rumors about him when he doesn't really know what is going on, but he "warns him sternly" and tells him not to say anything and instead instructs him to go and show himself to the priest as the law states to do. This is where it gets good. Mark writes that the healed guy does the complete opposite! He starts telling everyone, never goes to see the priest and Jesus is accosted by all the would be paparazzi of his day!
Jesus must have been so upset with this guy. I could just imagine him saying, 'dude, didn't I tell you to keep this on the DL?! I can't even go to the corner Wawa without people asking me questions. Thanks a lot!" But I actually think this is part of Mark's overall plan to juxtapose Jesus, God's ultimate priestly answer, against the priestly rituals of the law of Moses. Doing the opposite, the healed and grateful leper recognizes that through Jesus there is no need to be imprisoned by the very rules and laws that kept him apart from the community in the first place. In fact, he can show himself to the community even without an "official" certification of healing from the local priest in Jerusalem. Maybe this is not what Jesus intended, maybe he never intended on going against everything he knew growing up, but more and more in the Gospel of Mark, we come to see the evolution of a call and Jesus finally embracing that his "good news" wasn't good for everyone and so they killed him for it.
Which brings me to an interesting place in this journey. I ask myself, what do I really mean when I ask God to make me clean? What are God's thoughts on the petition and am I fully aware of what I am asking? I don't think I am. In reading St. John of the Cross, he says that God really does do the best work on us, when we are in the dark. The dark of not knowing, the dark of not being in control. If we were to see what kind of work God was doing, we would probably ask God to stop. Is that what we are doing in this so called Call to Action of the Church?
I mean do we really want to change? Do we really want to make first things first? If that is case, then in our restructuring, can somebody please tell me why we have not looked seriously at the role of the Episcopacy in the overall call for new places for new people. In most corporations, when a CEO's that have not displayed leadership to turn around failing companies that have been bailed out, they have been terminated. Now we keep saying Bishops are not CEO's, however they are responsible to oversee the disciple-making- for the transformation of the world-institution that we call the United Methodist Church. And yet we continue to elect more Bishops, even though we do not have the resources to support them, and we continue to allow them to take on more and more authority and power within their office without a resource to hold them accountable to produce vibrant conferences and congregations. Within the conversation of guaranteed appointment for anxious clergy all across the nation, this topic has not even been mentioned as a possibility of removing the "vitam" till-you-die election of a Bishop as part of the discussion.
When we call people to give 101% or above and beyond their apportionment responsibilities because we have ministry to do, are we being faithful in explaining that part of this giving is also to maintain a structure that is so far removed from reality that it has become the albatross in the room and an episcopal structure that is far removed from the Pauline description of the vocation. As I participate in conversations across the country about what are effective ways to create new communities of faith, it appears to me that these are the things that for new people, don't make sense. I find myself having to explain our structure over and over again, and the more I do that, the more I realize that we truly do need to be made clean. I just don't know if we know what are actually asking for. So, how do you keep new people from questioning this? I find the task really difficult and maybe that's the point. Maybe I should stop trying to "save people" from the truth and allow them to actually be the ones saving us!
Just in case you're thinking, "wow, who made her so jaded!" I'm not. I am so happy to report that I passed my BOOM interviews and I'm on my way to being commissioned as a provisional Elder. But I also think that part of my responsibility of being part of the Order of Elders is to create conversation and question certain things that are off balance. I would not expect anything less than any of my colleagues.
I love my church and I stand by it, which means that I am also willing to stand in it. Step right in the center of all the dysfunction and say "well, then my peeps, where did we go wrong?" The moment that we become too afraid or too comfortable to question our own structure then, that is the moment that I know that I truly have lost all sense of purpose and we are truly irrelevant and dead.
Now back to relevance for me in particular. I'll share a quick true story. I found myself the other day at Trader Joe's Market getting a few items. I happen to be getting ready to check out and I chose to stand at the line of a young lady who reminded me so much of the star of "The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo" the new movie, not the old one. Now here's an insight on me, I love tatoo's. I think they are really cool and her's were particularly ornate. So as she is checking my items, we are engaged in conversation about her tatoo's and how she got started and where should I start if I wanted to get one. (That's a whole other blog entry :-)
Then we started talking about music and before I knew it we were exchanging tunes and names. This is what new church start people do, and for me its really about seeking those who normally would not be approached by "good church folks." At any rate, as we were talking I took a quick glance at the lady behind me in the line. Her face said it all. She was disgusted by our conversation and by this young lady's appearance. She then proceeded to say that if we should think twice about tatoo's because they don't always look so good, and if we ever wanted to wear a wedding dress, we would look terrible!
The young lady and I looked at each other and said without any hesitation, "well, what if we don't want to wear a wedding dress, and what if the person we do marry, accepts us just the way we are?"
It spoke volumes to me and really made this scripture come to life. Who calls us clean? Who determines if we have reached the right to be part of the community? Who measures our effectiveness and who gets to set the criteria? "If you want to, you can make me clean." This is what the leper said. And when Jesus does the miracle, he knows that this is all the approval he needs to reintegrate back into community. In essence, the community took on the priestly role of seeing the evidence of his healing, hearing his testimony and believing it to the point that Jesus' fame grew all over the region.
Perhaps its time that we return to the locus of the community to be the ones who set restructuring from a grass roots theological frame work. This is what I believe Mark does throughout his Gospel. The community of broken, hemorrhaging, poor, hungry, small and insignificant are the ones who call Jesus out and give him a clear picture of who he is - the Messiah the Son of God!
We can only find our sense of purpose among those we truly serve. Parting from any other place would be the very definition of insanity! By the way, in Mark, Jesus becomes an expert at throwing out demons from the synagogues too. Hmmm, I wonder what lesson would he be trying to show us there??????
For your prayerful consideration
Monday, December 12, 2011
Joy!!!...Really?
So here's the scene. The exiled Jews had learned to live under Babylonian rule quite well, after all they were not treated too bad. They were allowed to worship, have their own homes, maintain their social and religious leadership and they had gained a certain amount of commodity so much so that they had actually forgotten that they were under political domination. Now no doubt that the group that Isaiah was actually speaking to where primarily part of a new generation who never even experienced the conquering troops of Nebuchadnezzar's great army roll in and destroy the temple and carry all its riches. So they would not have known or understood the importance of going back, and frankly who would have blamed them. Who wants to go back to ruins.
I can imagine Isaiah leading the field trip back to Jerusalem, with his "spirit of the Lord has anointed me to bring good news...." spiel about all the things that God had promised to do through them. Oh and he says that their mourning will turn to gladness. Seriously? How can they possibly believe this when they are standing in a pile of ruins?!
I hate it when God's word gets in my head and begins to read my thoughts! Over the last several months, I feel that I have been sitting in a pile of ruins. This church building is killing me, its killing my momentum and my drive to be a better church planter. The new start has been co-opted to a certain extent because instead of following the original vision, it is now swallowed up in the huge building expenses and worries. This is actually so depressing and fills me with anger, that I know it is starting to become apparent in everything I do and that's not cool at all. By now I think you have realized that this story doesn't have much Advent or Christmas joy in it. Or does it?
Look at the Isaiah passage again....God says that they would be called priest and their shame though it is double and sorrow the only legacy that they hold on to, those will be turned into a double portion of everlasting joy. All of this happens in the midst of the rubble, in the midst of the chaos and in the time of desolation. This is not new to God, creation took place in the midst of void and chaos, so why is it that we, or rather I don't seem to remember that.
Someone really wise and close to me shared with me that at this point in her life she felt as though she was at the doorstep of a wilderness and she is upset with God because she doesn't want to go through it but she knows she has to. I keep shaking my fist up to God in the same way! I keep asking God, why was I selected to go through this hell. On top of that every time I attend another church planting seminar or workshop or meeting, and I hear about all the success that others are having, I keep waiting for that one place where they gather all the ones who have not been so successful and we hear from them.
If God works through chaos and rebuilds through ruins, can God work through failed church plants, or any other ministry attempts? I have another friend who has a great saying "you have your answer, dear!" God says,"YES!"
I know that, but right now I'm in a pile of ruins waiting....
Here lies the truth about joy that I am learning. Joy is knowing that it is coming. Joy is knowing that you can carry all your burdens to God. Joy is knowing that God loves you so much that God wades and pushes through your own pile of emotional.....rubbish (I want to use another word but I will refrain!) in order to hear you out better than any friend or partner you can have. Joy is knowing that wherever God leads you through success and happiness, failure and frustration, God will not let go of you (thanks Mark Miller). As I go through this journey, I am fully aware that the choice of following God never, never came with a guarantee that I will be joyful all the time! It only came with the guarantee that God will never leave me or forsake me.
So am I angry? Yes! Am I frustrated. Hell Yes! A little lost? Yes! But you'll never guess who I find sitting here next to me in this pile of rubble.
Wishing all of you Advent Hope and Christmas Joy!
Lydia
I can imagine Isaiah leading the field trip back to Jerusalem, with his "spirit of the Lord has anointed me to bring good news...." spiel about all the things that God had promised to do through them. Oh and he says that their mourning will turn to gladness. Seriously? How can they possibly believe this when they are standing in a pile of ruins?!
I hate it when God's word gets in my head and begins to read my thoughts! Over the last several months, I feel that I have been sitting in a pile of ruins. This church building is killing me, its killing my momentum and my drive to be a better church planter. The new start has been co-opted to a certain extent because instead of following the original vision, it is now swallowed up in the huge building expenses and worries. This is actually so depressing and fills me with anger, that I know it is starting to become apparent in everything I do and that's not cool at all. By now I think you have realized that this story doesn't have much Advent or Christmas joy in it. Or does it?
Look at the Isaiah passage again....God says that they would be called priest and their shame though it is double and sorrow the only legacy that they hold on to, those will be turned into a double portion of everlasting joy. All of this happens in the midst of the rubble, in the midst of the chaos and in the time of desolation. This is not new to God, creation took place in the midst of void and chaos, so why is it that we, or rather I don't seem to remember that.
Someone really wise and close to me shared with me that at this point in her life she felt as though she was at the doorstep of a wilderness and she is upset with God because she doesn't want to go through it but she knows she has to. I keep shaking my fist up to God in the same way! I keep asking God, why was I selected to go through this hell. On top of that every time I attend another church planting seminar or workshop or meeting, and I hear about all the success that others are having, I keep waiting for that one place where they gather all the ones who have not been so successful and we hear from them.
If God works through chaos and rebuilds through ruins, can God work through failed church plants, or any other ministry attempts? I have another friend who has a great saying "you have your answer, dear!" God says,"YES!"
I know that, but right now I'm in a pile of ruins waiting....
Here lies the truth about joy that I am learning. Joy is knowing that it is coming. Joy is knowing that you can carry all your burdens to God. Joy is knowing that God loves you so much that God wades and pushes through your own pile of emotional.....rubbish (I want to use another word but I will refrain!) in order to hear you out better than any friend or partner you can have. Joy is knowing that wherever God leads you through success and happiness, failure and frustration, God will not let go of you (thanks Mark Miller). As I go through this journey, I am fully aware that the choice of following God never, never came with a guarantee that I will be joyful all the time! It only came with the guarantee that God will never leave me or forsake me.
So am I angry? Yes! Am I frustrated. Hell Yes! A little lost? Yes! But you'll never guess who I find sitting here next to me in this pile of rubble.
Wishing all of you Advent Hope and Christmas Joy!
Lydia
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Emotional Waste
I have been blessed in my life, as I am sure that you have as well, with some people that have always served to sharpen the iron of my soul and place my feet to the fire when needed. On one particular occasion I was speaking to one such friend who used the term "emotional waste." I was intrigued. My friend explained further by sharing that many times we spend a lot of time and energy investing our emotions into things that are not up to us to control. We pour our hearts and souls into something or someone and when it doesn't turn out quite as well as we want or we end up being disillusioned, we truly think everything must end now because we have indeed invested so much of ourselves into it.
In the long run, the truth is as my good friend says "just let it be what it be!" No amount of anger, no amount of crying, no amount of being upset with the world will change what it is so stop wasting so much emotional energy.
Listen, we've all been there, particularly those of us who are church planters. We may have the best visions, the best ideas, the best plans but in the long run it is what it will be and you have two choices. You can decide to remain heated about it and with everyone and carry that to your next assignment or get rid of the waste and realize that you are called not to invest in your vision, but in God's Reign. This isn't your ministry, it happens to belong to someone else and I think that its the same being who handled creation, so I think God's got this! Perhaps this is why the Word says "weeping may endure for a night" because that's as far as God wants you to take it. Don't let your emotional waste take over, but learn to enjoy the sunrise of a new day.
People will try to place value on you based on what you do and how successful you are at doing it. Yet the one who made you knows how valuable you already are, so why would you invest your emotions anywhere else.
My prayer is that God will give me a discerning heart to know when I am teetering on investing my emotions into something that will become an exhausting enterprise and will just leave me emotionally spent. To many of us walk around with bankrupt hearts and empty souls. James 4:7 says, "resist the devil and he will flee from you" and I believe that brother James was also talking about the devil in you and me. You know the one that believes that without you this work can't get done! Yea you know you've seen that demon rear its ugly head from time to time. Believe it or not people are much more perceptive than we give them credit and in fact the Church of Jesus Christ will go on et in saecula saeculorum! I have come to realize this in my own setting.
So, every now and then its good to take out the trash, dust off the shelves and clear the air. Remember, not to throw any of it in the recycle bin. These things always find a way of creeping back in.
Happy cleaning,
Lydia
In the long run, the truth is as my good friend says "just let it be what it be!" No amount of anger, no amount of crying, no amount of being upset with the world will change what it is so stop wasting so much emotional energy.
Listen, we've all been there, particularly those of us who are church planters. We may have the best visions, the best ideas, the best plans but in the long run it is what it will be and you have two choices. You can decide to remain heated about it and with everyone and carry that to your next assignment or get rid of the waste and realize that you are called not to invest in your vision, but in God's Reign. This isn't your ministry, it happens to belong to someone else and I think that its the same being who handled creation, so I think God's got this! Perhaps this is why the Word says "weeping may endure for a night" because that's as far as God wants you to take it. Don't let your emotional waste take over, but learn to enjoy the sunrise of a new day.
People will try to place value on you based on what you do and how successful you are at doing it. Yet the one who made you knows how valuable you already are, so why would you invest your emotions anywhere else.
My prayer is that God will give me a discerning heart to know when I am teetering on investing my emotions into something that will become an exhausting enterprise and will just leave me emotionally spent. To many of us walk around with bankrupt hearts and empty souls. James 4:7 says, "resist the devil and he will flee from you" and I believe that brother James was also talking about the devil in you and me. You know the one that believes that without you this work can't get done! Yea you know you've seen that demon rear its ugly head from time to time. Believe it or not people are much more perceptive than we give them credit and in fact the Church of Jesus Christ will go on et in saecula saeculorum! I have come to realize this in my own setting.
So, every now and then its good to take out the trash, dust off the shelves and clear the air. Remember, not to throw any of it in the recycle bin. These things always find a way of creeping back in.
Happy cleaning,
Lydia
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